Inspired by my friend Taryn’s feedback, I figured I’d open up and share a bit of my heart at the moment. My interpretation of India thus far: it is both incredibly open and welcoming while at the same time being a tough nut to crack. Just when you’ve reached a new high, you find yourself wondering how you got so far back. It’s dizzying at times, but again, providing rich ground for growth and reflection.
I have said more than once, “How can I love a country so much that doesn’t love me back?” And yet I reflect on my experiences and see so many beautiful moments and feelings. Remember that assertive Ashley that I discovered in Delhi? Well, when I came to Orchha I took my familial approach: be kind, be friendly, be polite, be obedient. I fell back into my own comfort zone at work, and while I can negotiate a good price for an auto now and stand my ground, after almost a month in the office, my colleagues hardly knew me. I stayed quiet and assumed something had gotten lost in translation along the way. After a good chat with Matt, I realized I needed to return to my previous insights and what I have learned about the way this country works, especially for women. It’s a fight, of sorts. I have to command respect to receive it. So, today, I articulated my disappointment in the relationships formed. Through friendly and professional conversation, I let people know I am a “politician” and president of an NGO back home. It’s incredibly awkward for me to speak of these “accomplishments,” but I tell you, relationships have changed significantly in the past 8 hours. I am so hopeful that I am building the professional environment I dreamed of having here. Assertive Ashley. It’s not habitual yet, but I think it’s a good place of growth for me right now in my life. (As a side note- I think I have officially lost my “baby-touch”… couldn’t calm down a little one yesterday. Not sure if I am sad or relieved that stage of life is done.) I hope that at the end of this experience this post will prove the catalyst I want it to be. Thanks again Taryn! You are right. We can’t learn from each other unless we share. Love you!
6 Comments
Terri Barton
10/13/2017 06:24:44 am
Love this Ash....
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Not always up to date but I do love reading of your experiences and adventures. Keep doing what you're doing relationships, in the end, are all that matter and accomplishments come because of them ... enjoy the ride, we are all certainly enjoying it with you
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Matthew
10/13/2017 08:12:17 pm
I have always been proud and inspired by what you have accomplished. My prayer is that you can become more comfortable with recognizing all of the amazing things that you do for others and that other can see it within you.
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Theresa L Toms
10/13/2017 09:34:56 pm
Ashley... Your insights into your experiences in a new country amazes me. I (and many others) are learning through your wisdom and knowledgeable experiences.
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Taryn
10/14/2017 07:47:09 pm
I love you Ash. Honestly, thank you for being so open and honest. I find it funny and kind of beautiful how we are reconnecting so many years later and finding so much sources of strength and inspiration to share and give to each other.
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Ashley
10/16/2017 02:38:45 am
Thanks Taryn. It is beautiful and I am so thankful we had the chance at a friendship in our youth, strengthened through life experience and love across the country/world! I am so appreciative for all that you do. As a person. As a woman. As a mom and wife. You lift me and encourage me to be better. All my love!!
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