This post comes quite a bit after the fact and I hope I can recall it correctly!
Back in Canada, when I thought of India, crowds, cows and culture are what flood my mind initially. Diwali is right up there as well and I was so excited that my internship would fall over this holiday season. However, there were some unanticipated problems that included very little work happening and programing became sporadic. We’d drop in, but the program participants would be visiting a temple, or wedding festivities would be getting planned, or class would be cancelled for reasons we couldn’t track down. So while Diwali slowed the pace of work, it certainly added an element of excitement as the days drew nearer. Our good friend Seema invited us to her family home in Dhule, Maharashtra. A whole new state to explore. This was my first experience on an overnight train, and while I was pretty unsettled at first, I quickly adapted and shut my sleepy eyes. We arrived and Seema greeted us with her brother and drove to alternating selections of YouTube beats. Over the coming days, five of the six children plus spouses, offspring and foreign guests (us) converged on Mommy’s home. Not only is Mommy accommodating and so kind, she is a great cook and prepared the best chai I’ve had in India. Honest to goodness, the best! I am so grateful for Didi taking me out shopping and sorting through the masses of fabric to select some really special sarees for great value. At one time, I watched the four sisters chatting and reconnecting and envisioned my babes doing the exact same thing. The strength and bond of family really is a miracle to observe. We had a chance to witness worship, celebration and blessing all in one trip. Another don’t tell mom moment I don’t think my husband would believe: I set off fireworks. You can’t appropriately celebrate Diwali (according to me) without participating in that custom. In that spirit, I joined the children in reckless behavior (they assured me I would handle only the mildest of explosives) and still have all of my fingers and eyeballs. Did you know that Shakespeare invented the word eyeball? I was really sad to leave the place that had become home for the past four days. It’s strange how I hadn’t realized how much I was craving family connections until that time. That chalks up a family-centered, fun-loving, distance-travelling Diwali. Maybe I’ll do it again next year?
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I've written a short piece about my experience here on the Board Blog for SD47. You can check it out here:
www.sd47.bc.ca/NewsEvents/boardblog/default.aspx#/ This is what change looks like in celebratory form. Today, women from two villages and five rounds of programming gathered to receive their completion certificates from the TARA Akshar+ program. From a previous post, I shared the dedicated leadership of the woman who welcomed me here when I visited earlier. It was a treat to see her speak to the women and share what the changes mean for her and the community as a whole. Afterwards, a bright and beautiful young woman came and spoke to me. As a third-year student at the University of Agra, she shared her passion of returning to her village and making a difference in the lives of those living there. Inevitably, she has become a role model to many within the community. I should not have been surprised when I discovered that these two remarkable examples of strength and leadership were mother and daughter!
Of course, I can’t help but think of my own girls and the manner in which I raise them as confident, capable individuals with purpose. This sort of investment in self and others must be intentional to yield results. As naturally as so much of this line of thinking happens within our home, I want to ensure or conversations and actions align with who we are hoping to become, or better stated, uncover. The village of Punawalikala will always serve as a reminder to me of this principle: train up a child in the way she shall go and she will not depart from it. Be strong and passionate and confident my girls. I love you. Well, an exciting email was sent at the end of day yesterday to all Development Alternatives staff for the sole purpose of sharing the blog post I had written.
Woot! Here is it if you want to check it out: http://www.perspectives.devalt.org/?p=2506 What adjustments in daily living have I become accustomed to after 41 days in India?
Let me start with the bugs. Now, growing up, I wasn’t much of an outdoorsy kind of girl. I enjoyed climbing trees and being outside with my dogs, but for my formative years of young-childhood, I lived in 100 mile house where it traditionally snowed on my birthday and Halloween costumes were designed around the same insulated, reversible sweater (orange- pumpkin, black- cat) or a full body snowsuit. Then I moved to the west coast. It should have been easier to enjoy the outdoors, and I did get out a bit, but the really messy camping for days, hiking and the like just never materialized for me. Since learning to love running in the beautiful trails of Powell River and gardening, I have probably spent more time outside in four years than I did in my youth. So yeah, bugs are a bit of an adjustment. The first night we arrived in Orchha we were greeted with swarms of what we affectionately call stink bugs. Within the first week, I made the mistake of opening the front door at night with a light on behind me inside. I have never experienced the kind of wind-fury these creatures could create. What makes me laugh now is my general level of tolerance. Oh, there are only two stink bugs in my sink this morning. Hmm, I wonder how many insects I will find throughout the process of handwashing my laundry today. Well, there’s a bug on my food; luckily it moves faster than my spoon. I’m not too sure if this counts as personal growth, but I’ll take it as a win. Second. Showers. I posted a picture early on about my first bucket and mug “shower” consisting of about two gallons of water, max. It was surprisingly enjoyable. Perhaps since the alternative was a cold, traditional shower that I couldn’t help but turn off between soaping/shampooing because it was so frigid. So yeah, my kettle-warmed bucket water was heaven. It really helps me appreciate some of the simple pleasures I took for granted. I had that same thought before coming. My home is over 100 years old and we have yet to rip out the chipped, dirty-no-matter-what, blue bathtub our home came with upon purchase ten years ago. But I can jump into a shower and enjoy warm water, good enough to drink, at any moment I wish to. Showering is a process here. Long. Planned. Often accompanying laundry efforts. I really have a new appreciation for this simple task and hope I can help my kids understand and conserve what we enjoy so recklessly. Lastly, power and the ability to connect. Within the first week of work in rural India, each power outage or surge would make me jump. Computers beep. Things make strange noises. It all can happen quite abruptly. Now, I can compose a reflective essay without missing a keystroke during the multiple outages throughout the day. It’s my new normal. The internet connectivity, however, is something I still get frustrated over. Signs of the times and how I really need to unplug a lot more. For instance, wifi is shut off outside of working hours. This isn’t too much of a problem unless people you wish to communicate with are 12 hours behind you. Today, I had to miss a school board meeting because there was nowhere to connect to. Even my cell coverage doesn’t work in my location. That’s the joy of rural living I suppose. I just have to take this experience for what it is and really re-evaluate the role of connectivity back in Canada. Eyes open on this one and what changes should be made when I get back home. If you’ve found some helpful strategies, I’d love to hear them. There is so much more I have spoken to earlier, like the freedom to walk around and shop after dark and to be unassuming in the majority of life’s situations. It gets quite tiresome trying to calculate each person and each scenario all the time, so I have to be selective in this regard. I certainly don’t plan on loosing myself in this process. Just enhancing. That’s the short-listed nitty gritty. Maybe the rest will make their way to paper/screen eventually. (Oh yes, and enjoy the picture of "Cami" my room lizard. I named her to keep Venise from killing her, but we are pretty certain after Venise threw a shoe in her direction one night that she lost her tail, Just this week our building helper ushered her outside with a shower squeegee. I'm a bit sad over the lack of her presence in my room.) I’ve been anticipating this birthday for close to 10 years or more. Matt and I joked as young-ones long ago about where we would be at in our lives when we reached our “Jesus” year—33, the age he was during his ministry. What would our life circumstances be? Luckily, Matt reached his first and I got to tease the old-timer. Well, now it’s my turn. I had an interesting dream last night that I think serves as an omen of the year to come. We shall see if my interpretation rings true.
I woke up at 6am and went for a run. Yes, it was a far cry from my 30 kms three years ago, but in adding more yoga into my routine, the running fell away a bit. So while I am here and the physical demands are less, I’m trying to do both. But I only started last week because HEAT. Ghah! As it is, I start out in 26-27 degree weather and have to stay covered with long pants and shirt. No short shorts here! I’m sure I’ll bust them out in -2 at least once in December/January just because I want to feel the breeze on my skin again. Then again… I saved my special blue and pink kurta from Lucknow for today because you are supposed to wear new clothing for your birthday in India. I also bought a pair of jhumka earrings so I could trade out mine from Canada once in a while. We headed into Orchha to grab money for our rent and stopped in with our favorite shoe salesman. He is just the best and remembered my birthday, insisting on celebrating by buying me chocolate and a beverage. Take a look at the shoes I got—perfect match with my top! (Pictured above) The office also organized a surprise birthday party for me with cake, treats and gifts. Matthew coordinated a world-away effort to deliver me flowers. Yes, I got a bit tear-eyed over it. Thanks Hun. Apparently, it’s customary to feed the birthday celebrator. So I got fed lots more cake than I usually would eat. And wore it all over my face on numerous occasions. Customary or just fun? Not too sure! It was a nice sugar facial in any case. Venise and I are jetting out of work early (5:30pm) to catch a movie in Jhansi. Yes, it’ll all be in Hindi. Reminiscent of watching MI2 in Italy circa 2000. It’ll be fun to watch this film again with subtitles and see how close I was to understanding it. Hope to catch the kids again before school starts. It has really been a perfect day, despite being away from my family. I am thankful for those who stepped up and stepped in, knowing how much I would appreciate it at this time. Here's to my Jesus year and all that it brings with it! Ok, I realize that’s a misleading title. Maybe it should read “Going back to my second home.” Nonetheless, I met up again with that first village I got to visit with. Remember Ruby? Luckily she remembered me too! I came with my supervisor, Ashish and another man, to observe programming. I tell you, as I sat with the women cross-legged on the floor rocking a three-month-old baby boy, I had to contain my frustration watching the three men on chairs give Ruby tips and suggestions for improving her teaching in a very abrupt and public manner. It really didn’t phase her. This is her normal and she is so respectful. If it were me, I’d be mortified. So I tried to not project my western ideals in an eastern setting and just made a note to add private professional development/feedback to my list of recommendations. Done. File it away and move on. Once plans were made for my return trip in a few hours’ time, the men left and the lesson quickly deteriorated. I was being swarmed. With love. And I didn’t mind at all. Would I like lunch? Yes. Come to my home then. Ok. Let me draw on you with henna. Sure, sounds great. Let’s chat using the 150 common words we have between us for an hour or so. Show us pictures of your family and travels in India. Did you know I will be married in 2022? Here, look at our goats; don’t worry, we are Veg too. Goat snuggles ensue. Three hours blasted by and my ride showed up. We left with hugs, exchanges of phone numbers and the words “friend” and “love” being tossed back and forth and all around. Since the man couldn’t take me all the way back to campus, I hitched a ride on an auto with the locals. Now, in this case, you pay RPS 10 ($.20) and they pack on as many people as humanly/mechanically possible in the tuk tuk. Well, by the time I got off, the count was up to 13! If I weren’t so squished, I would have taken a picture of our clown car. Really, though, I was just bursting with so much happiness. For the following two hours, I searched out property in India. Matt—I think I found a new goal to save up for. Inspired by my friend Taryn’s feedback, I figured I’d open up and share a bit of my heart at the moment. My interpretation of India thus far: it is both incredibly open and welcoming while at the same time being a tough nut to crack. Just when you’ve reached a new high, you find yourself wondering how you got so far back. It’s dizzying at times, but again, providing rich ground for growth and reflection.
I have said more than once, “How can I love a country so much that doesn’t love me back?” And yet I reflect on my experiences and see so many beautiful moments and feelings. Remember that assertive Ashley that I discovered in Delhi? Well, when I came to Orchha I took my familial approach: be kind, be friendly, be polite, be obedient. I fell back into my own comfort zone at work, and while I can negotiate a good price for an auto now and stand my ground, after almost a month in the office, my colleagues hardly knew me. I stayed quiet and assumed something had gotten lost in translation along the way. After a good chat with Matt, I realized I needed to return to my previous insights and what I have learned about the way this country works, especially for women. It’s a fight, of sorts. I have to command respect to receive it. So, today, I articulated my disappointment in the relationships formed. Through friendly and professional conversation, I let people know I am a “politician” and president of an NGO back home. It’s incredibly awkward for me to speak of these “accomplishments,” but I tell you, relationships have changed significantly in the past 8 hours. I am so hopeful that I am building the professional environment I dreamed of having here. Assertive Ashley. It’s not habitual yet, but I think it’s a good place of growth for me right now in my life. (As a side note- I think I have officially lost my “baby-touch”… couldn’t calm down a little one yesterday. Not sure if I am sad or relieved that stage of life is done.) I hope that at the end of this experience this post will prove the catalyst I want it to be. Thanks again Taryn! You are right. We can’t learn from each other unless we share. Love you! Just a bit of text and a lot of pictures. Taj Mahal: Amazing. Agra Fort: Surprising. Gwalior: Grounding. What a whirlwind of experiences. I am pleased to report I no longer have a fear of motorcycles. In fact, I quite love them as a mode of transport at the moment. Today I accompanied a nice young man named Ashish (yes, it was the Ash2 team all over again) to seven centres either operating the initial literacy program, TARA Akshar, or the follow-up Gyan Chaupali program that is designed to help the newly-literate strengthen their skills. I observed some amazing, passionate teaching. I also saw some that could use strengthening (a super generous description in one case). I just admire these women so much. We have teenagers learning aside grandmothers. Breastfeeding babies milk-drunk on laps and young children practicing their letters alongside their caretakers. The community of it all is something I have never experienced before. In the villages I go to, no one has their doors closed. The entire space belongs to everyone it seems. I was even fed on two separate occasions and deviated from my golden rule: “don’t drink the water!” Well I did. And I lived. I am embracing each beautiful moment as they come and really living in the moment of it all. That’s my humanity/self-reflection piece (among others written elsewhere).
Professionally I had the following insight: Post-field visit, I sat down to write my observations of learning and practice taking place. Three pages later, I had captured maybe 15-20 minutes worth of notes. I was surprised what I was able to notice and make note of, including insights on reluctant learners, student evasion techniques and leadership capacities coming to play among the group. Maybe not knowing the language made it possible for me to really pay attention to WHAT was happening. But here’s the link: I loved it. And am possibly good at it. I came away with questions for reflection, additional pieces for discussion and suggestions for improved practice. Oh my goodness. I can do this. I found another avenue that’s pulling me to where I believe I naturally fall in the spectrum of education: admin. I love the idea of going into classrooms and working with teachers to improve practice and celebrate the good that is happening and share it. I don’t know when this might happen, but I feel I am building a case for a strong answer for my interview beyond “to have greater impact” when asked why I want the job. I want the job because I love the job. I love the pieces. I love the goal-setting and working towards them with a team of professionals. I love observing teaching and helping make it better. That much seems so much more clear right now. I’m taking these experiences and seeing manifested what my heart knew all along. |
AuthorAshley J.E. Hull Archives
November 2017
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